friends and movies

Sarah: “wtf is wrong with you two…why do you go to the carwash when you’re dating and then go to on a date when you’re “just friends”…there is something wrong there!”

Sometimes the boy doesn’t really know the rules of dating and instead of calling after a date, even to be polite and just say he’s not feeling it. Apparently this phenomenon is referred to as The Bus. As in he didn’t call because he was hit by The Bus. What? I don’t know, I didn’t come up with this, it was told to me and now I’m passing that on to you.

But then sometimes life will be totally baffling and when the ‘lets be friends’ conversation happens everyone seems to mean it. So we talk for hours on a regular basis, chit chat ranging to discussions on serious life events, upcoming plans, where we both want to be in a year, five years, careers, etc. Its all very strange really.

And then we go see a movie, just us, totally just as friends. I have friends, lots of them, enought that I might be over the allowed quota. The female friends who have been following this comedy are totally hating on Boy Who Was Hit By The Bus and Is Possibly Bouncing Back. Personally, it doesn’t really bother me….if the The Bus theory is true so is The Apple Tree.

why you should get dressed BEFORE leaving the house

I can’t multitask at all. This is something I’ve known for years. I’m also not a morning person really. For the last year, ever since I started pretending to be a grown up and working full time I’ve been trying to multitask in the mornings. I normally put my face moisturizer and eye makeup on in the Tim Horton’s drive through. (This is an improvement; I used to do my eyeliner and mascara on the highway.) Once, in said drive through, I rear ended a BMW. He wasn’t too impressed.

I know most people get fully dressed before leaving the house; I normally do as well unless I’m going to work. This morning’s face moisturizing did not go well. Damn that Vichy. The moisturizer squirted all over my black skirt and purple top and, despite my repeated attempts at cleaning, has left whitish lines that look like…well…I’ll let you figure out what they look like. Anyone wanna bring me a new outfit?

Home Reno! a.k.a my life for the last few months

So you may have noticed a lack of Sarah in the rubianarah blogs recently. Well that is because most of my spare time over the summer has been devoted to doing a number of things in relation to the all the home renovation which seems to be taking place. First we got our roof replaced (which needed to happen because apparently an aircraft flying over us lost a piece of itself which was embedded in our roof causing a few leakage problems in the house). Next it was the kitchen (this started out as simply wanting to get rid of the carpet and have Jamie do the floor, but gradually became ripping down wallpaper, painting the walls and cupboards and doing the laundry room as well). Then the bathroom (it also needed to be done as there was a section of the wall where the paint was bubbling which obviously meant that there was a leak in the shower somewhere..and really the tub and toilet were an avocado green..and although the 70’s has come back with a vengeance it is just not needed in the bathroom). Finally, the pool (last year the liner was really in need of replacement, but we decided we could get one more summer out of it and then get it done this year). Although replacing the liner would seem like a fairly routine procedure, our pool is a strange shape which complicates the process. Also, when we took out the old liner we discovered that the cement underneath was all cracked and crumbling…so the old cement was all chipped out and replaced…then when they went to put in the liner…oh yeah..it was too big…so it needs to be sent back to the factory to be recut.
Sooooo..now our house has several projects on the go..all in different phases of completion. Hopefully things will all be done by the end of the month so that we can all take a breath before heading back to school.
The pictures above are the ‘before’ pics…will keep you updated on the ‘after’ pics as they come.

IKEA!!!!!!!

What we learned in Dovember:
-stiletto boots are not acceptable footwear for events requiring the picking up of heavy boxes
-Sarah is incredibly patient
-Ruby is incapable of manuvering large heavy boxes onto carts
-Ruby is incapable of manuvering carts with large heavy boxes on them
-Christmas is a bad time to shop at IKEA

So with all that insight we went to IKEA during the back to school madness…but we wore flip flops! So that made it ok. December must have been really traumatic because this past Sunday Sarah brought reinforcements…as in Jamie who made us a crown and told me I could fit in my bookshelf (if you took the shelves out). I think she was just scared after her first ikea trip with me when were still in the store after midnight and it had long since closed. This time, I think, was less stressful. And I knew my address and postal code.

The bookshelf is all built! WOOOOOO! I made dinner and Jamie built a bookshelf. It worked out quite well. Now if we had only waited to see what happened to Oliver Bill out…

Oh and Jamie owes Sarah $1000.

lying bastards

Overpromising and underdelivering, chickenshit, pleasant and innocent looking, infuriating bastards.

No, not men. Well, yes, them too.

But I actually meant Nyquil this time. You know the tagline? “The nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever medicine.” That’s what the box says. The commercials too. Those evil, lying, misleading commercials where someone goes to bed as miserable as I did but miraculously wakes up eight hours later healthy as can be.

What really happens is you take two bluish-green pills, as per the villainous instructions, at nine pm and then spend the next SIX hours puking your guts out, in a cold sweat, having anxiety attacks about work/school/fall fashions/the state of the world and feeling even crappier than before you took the damn meds. Oh and you’re sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fevering all at the same damn time. And for some infernal reason you also have the most ridiculous craving for waffles…which even if you had would just come right back up anyfuckingway.

The ad should really just be like “Listen fools, when you’re sick and miserable we like to pretend we can help but we just want your cash. Thanks!”

*sigh*

the chocolate cake adventure

Setting:
Taste of the Danforth, August 11th, sometime around 11. N, T & R.
Background info:
There’s a bakery called SweetTooth on the Danforth that is absolutely phenomenal and during this gluttony fest they have a booth of fabulous cavity inducing goodies. Like the richest chocolate cake imaginable.

R: Hey look at that cake she has, I so want some. Will you split with me?
N: YES!
*purchase of cake*
R, N & T wandering down the Danforth with yummy cake…

Two girls behind us: Look those girls have cake! Where did they get that?? I want cake!
N: *turning around to point* Over there! That second booth.

Still walking…
Some random woman: Oh chocolate cake!

The proud owners of the now half demolished chocolate cake shrugging and wandering alone further pass a group of teenybopper adolescents
Three teenybopper girls: CAKE! They have cake!

Two seconds later…
Some random to her friend: Hey I want cake too, lets go find that.

R: I think I’m done with this cake, do you want the rest?
N: No I’m done too, what do you want to do with the other half? I want to go to the candy store.
R: I’m going to throw it out, hang on there’s a garbage there. I’ll meet you in that candy store there.

StrangeMan munching on his corn on the cob in one hand and ribs in the other: Where did you get that cake?
R: At SweetTooth, its down there.
StrangeMan: I am so getting that!
R: Ok its really rich, I am throwing this out.
StrangeMan: You’re throwing the rest out?
R: Yes did you want it??
StrangeMan: Yes! Really? I can have it?
R: Uh sure here you go….

So…yeah. Some random person totally took my half eaten chocolate cake. And I’m quite certain he wasn’t a bum or anything. He just took a stangers half eaten food. Who does that?????

conversations from rubyland

On a ridiculously hot day
N: I wish I could hibernate though the crap weather. Like a bear. I wish I was a bear.
R: And miss the nasty smoggy days? That would be great.
N: With pockets. I wish I was a bear with pockets.

Those white boys from the country:
B: So Ruby are you a hindi too?
R: Pardon?
B: A Hindi. Thats how you say it right? You’re a Hindi?
R: Yes. I am. I am the personification of the entire language.

Blonde moment 1
N: Ever wish you could invent something really cool?
R: And be rich? Yes.
N: Like this thing that opens my car doors and beeps but for your house doors so when your hands are full its easier.
R: Beeps?
N: Yeah it beeps.
R: But why? Why would you need a car horn for your house?
N: Um no I meant the keyless entry.

Blonde Moment 2
N: Did you take the DVD back?
R: No its stuck, I can’t get the thing to open.
N: OH NO! Its ok I know where you can take it in.
R: Aw thanks.
-two hour interval-
R: Hey I got the DVD out!!
N: Oh yeah how?
R: I turned it on!

Things you don’t say to a date:
Date: So have you ever been here before?
R: Oh yeah I woke up here once.
*silence*